Recently, I got around experiencing what it feels like for my models to be nude in front of the camera when
nomadsorcerer asked me to bare it all for a whole series of Black & White pictures she needed as reference material to paint new paintings since, at the Art School where she studies, she specializes in anatomy drawing and, this time, she felt that she really could do a series of male nudes, for a change.
While I spontaneously volunteered, I kept on shivering at the thought for a number of days since, in the past, I had received so many disrespectful comments about my body - from both prospective sexual partners and from photographers whose male nudes I enjoyed and to whom I had cautiously volunteered as a model - that I had tons of apprehensions about how I would manage in front of the camera.
Looking back, accepting to model for her was the most liberating decision I've taken in ages:
After a few minutes of initial embarrassment about the erection that popped out of the blanket I was holding, I eventually found the guts to just proudly assume the boldest positions, without thinking twice about whether I projected the right image or not. Much to my surprise, it worked! While the signs of age indeed show on some of the pictures (heck, I ain't exactly as fresh and healthy as I was in my 20's...), I was still surprised to find that I can look damn sexy in front of the camera, in more ways than I imagined, from the classical Greek statue poses to the more corny gay calendar styles - all within the space of a single afternoon of shooting.
In a nutshell, despite feeling so old and worn-out, I discovered that I can actually look good. It's not just a major ego-booster, it's also a fantastic experience to feel what my models feel and to come out of it feeling so much more positive about a million things.